Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Dreams

Mama's Losin' It

If you want to make your dreams come true, the first thing you have to do is wake up.”  ~J.M. Power

This is from a prompt over at Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop.

Underneath all the layers of mom, wife, daughter, sister and friend is a dreamer. You may see a woman with bags under her eyes, spit up on her shirt and a "to-do" list a mile long, but if you could peel that back you would see the real me. 

The "Me" laying under a large willow tree, breeze lightly blowing my hair as I watch the clouds dance by. The "Me" that is receiving a phone call from a publisher saying, "We must print this right away. How much do you want for it? Name the price." The "Me" that is running the most successful photography studio in all of Tennessee. The "Me" that is happy when she looks in the mirror. The "Me" that always feels confident, loved and never judged.

Dreaming.
The quote above at first glance appears to mean that we are sleeping when we are dreaming and in order for anything to actually happen all we have to do is wake up. For me, I am awake when I dream, so it's not really waking up as much as being violently jerked back into reality. A reality where dinner is burned, kids are defiant, husband is grumpy, house isn't cleaned and I am standing in the middle of it without a clue what to do first. When I am dreaming, I don't want to wake up to this.

I believe the phrase "wake up" means to move into action. To consciously make a first step. Once you take away the fact that you could fly and that you ran alongside a unicorn, a dream is nothing but a goal. Goals are attainable if you take that first step and wake up. 

This year I am going to try to spend more time awake and taking the first step. It may feel like I am crawling on the desert sands grasping, clawing and struggling with each inch gained. I will be awake for my children; trying to find the schedules, lessons and fun to fill their days. I will be awake for my husband; trying to be a wife that he can't wait to come home to. I will be awake for my business; taking joy in what I have achieved and always striving to do better. There are days I am going to look in the mirror at the woman in the stained shirt, gray hair and extra pounds; not seeing the rock star that is underneath. I will keep looking because I know she is under there. 

I see her in my dreams under the willow tree and this time she is awake.


3 comments:

Erin said...

Dreams? What are those? Didn't they get lost in the whirlwind of motherhood, disabilities and mental health issues in my children? Actually I think you are right on and that is one of my goals this year. To be more present in the moment. To quite waiting for the next thing and focus on the thing I'm experiencing right now. It's going to be hard because that's how we've lived the last 3 years but I'm working on it and that's all I ask of myself.

On a side note I'm completely jealous you get to go to Blissdom and can't wait for you to share all about it!

Sandi Amorim said...

This post touched me and I'm sitting here at my desk with tears in my eyes. How many of us feel this way? I know I do. Often.

I love how you relate waking up to taking action, even if it one small action each day.

Sometimes the biggest breakthroughs come from the smallest of actions.

Gigi said...

Wonderful and inspiring post! I am taking the opposite approach, and just kicking back and letting things happen this year - it's something different for me.

I wish you the best in your dreams! :)

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