Thursday, January 20, 2011

Moms Hear Everything

Moms. We are unique group. We hear things most people don't. A child sigh in the night. A cough all the way across the house. If you have had the experience of being cooped up in the house for a long period of time with only small children to talk to, you begin to hear other things. I have heard these "other" things and while I probably shouldn't admit it to you, these conversations have actually enlightened me and entertained me.

Overheard while trying to sweep behind the couch.

"Stop trying to push me towards her. What are you doing? You are going to get me killed! After all I have done for you. Time after time I have anticipated her movements and kept you out of harms way."

"What do you mean you have kept me out of harm's way. The last time she had the vacuum cleaner out you all but tripped me in a desperate attempt to escape it. I almost got sucked up that time."

"I never did any such thing. It was my idea to push the little pieces of plastic out from behind the couch so that the baby would grab them and shove them in its mouth. I knew it would make that woman stop sweeping to rescue the child so that we could escape."

"Oh you are right! Us Goldfish crackers don't have the gift of strategy like you Dustbunny Clans do."

Then there was the conversation I heard when I opened the fridge to clean it out.

"Come on guys, where is your sense of self preservation. Hug that wall"

"I can't scoot back any farther, she's gonna see me. I'm headed for the trash and after all this work to grow this fuzz long! Such a waste"

"Don't give up yet! Just push that bowl of chocolate pudding towards the front again. She never makes it past that! Push men...Push as though your green fuzzed black-eyed peas bodies depended on it"

"Holy cow, I don't believe she fell for it again. Well, we are safe for another few days. At ease, men."

Moms. We hear all kinds of things. I think the most frequent one is this conversation. It gets played every day.

"Mom! She's touching me"

"I didn't touch her. She was on my side"

"Mom! She's doing it again"

"Quit snitching. Snitches get stitches"

"Mom! She just said I was going to get stitches. What's a stitch?"

"It's that funny blue thing that is with Lilo in that movie, Stupid"

"Mooooommm....she called me stu...hey, you wanna watch that movie?"


"Mom, can we watch Lilo and Stitch?"

*This prompt is from The Red Dress Club. The prompt is all about dialogue. Click on the link to see what others are "talking about"

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